apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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