i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
