You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
