what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
