You work out of a Hotel?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
