ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
