no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize