i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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