ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Is it because I queefed?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
