OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize