it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
