At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
