dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
