I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
