i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
