All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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