i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
FUCK WHALES
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
