idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
