Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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