I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
