he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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