i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
