it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the day after is always just damage control
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize