my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize