Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
