She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I need a burrito and a hug.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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