It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
