he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
