Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
