My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
