Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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