Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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