I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
