have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
