the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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