I wish I could teleport
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
