it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
