I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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