I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
All I want is dick and wine.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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