i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Im part way to drunk.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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