Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
