I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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