at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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