Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
soo... how was my night?
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