4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
