then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
