see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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