and you said cock pushups were impossible
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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