THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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