how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
