watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
