It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
