It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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