Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
