We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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