he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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