she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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