Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
