K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
