Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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