i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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